LEAVE MYSELF BEHIND

Release Date : 2023-07-11

Duration : 8 hrs 54 mins 

Publisher : HighBridge Audio

SYNOPSIS

This was the 2004 bestselling debut novel from Bart Yates (aka Noah Bly), an award-winning author of seven novels, including The Language Of Love And Loss, The Third Hill North Of Town, and The Very Long, Very Strange Life Of Isaac Dahl. He is also a professional musician and plays clarinet, saxophone, and bass guitar.

Seventeen-year-old Noah York has a mouth like a truck driver and eyes that see through the lies of the world. It’s been a year since Noah’s father suddenly died, and he and his mother, Virginia, have moved from Chicago to Oakland, New England, for a new start and a new job teaching for Virginia. The old Victorian house they’ve moved into was previously owned by Stephen Carlyle, an angry old ex-professor who was disliked by the community.

While the house is being torn down bit by bit as he and his mother renovate, they discover mason jars stuffed with secret bits of clothing, scraps of writing, old photographs, and marriage and birth certificates. These are clues to the mysterious existence of a woman, Nelly Mitchell, who was married to Stephen and disappeared decades earlier.

As his mother grows more obsessed and unsettled by the discovery of these mason jars, Noah fights his own troubling obsession with the boy next door, the enigmatic J.D. As the two boys develop an inseparable friendship, their relationship crosses over from platonic to intimate. J.D. is adamant that he’s not gay and has a steady girlfriend, but he can’t shake his attraction and longing for Noah. When J.D.’s younger sister walks in on them in an intimate moment, she’s quick to tell others about their scandalous behaviour. Soon, the entire school is talking about their gay relationship, and the school bullies are quick to pounce on them. As their lives fall apart, so does Virginia’s mental health, as her long-held secret finally takes a toll on her mental health. The story that follows is one of hope and heartbreak, love and redemption, and one of becoming whole again once every secret has been set free.

REVIEW

This is a captivating coming-of-age story about heartbreak, love, and redemption. From the very beginning, Noah York is a fascinating character, and it’s fully evident that he’s on a journey of challenges and new experiences. Noah is also extremely creative, brutally honest, and witty, which makes him very likeable and adds a lot of enjoyment to the story.

The relationship between Noah and Virginia is presented as a reversal of child and parent roles in many parts of the novel, especially as Virginia becomes increasingly unstable and reclusive. Noah is forced to grow up quickly from so many simultaneous life circumstances, from the abrupt loss of his father to parenting his mother to having a sexual awakening and a first love to fixing up an entire house in the absence of a sick mother. Despite all of this, he never loses his satirical sense of humour or his hilariously opinionated attitude towards others, and he presents himself as a very mature and responsible young man.

There is a lot of mature subject matter in this book that makes this novel suitable for both young adults and older audiences, including mental health, trauma, abuse, sexual awakening, bullying, self-acceptance, and family relationships.

Narrator Graham Halstead does an impeccable job on this audiobook. His portrayal of Noah is so authentic and convincing that you can so easily visualize the character, as though you were watching an award-winning performance on screen. Halstead uses a consistent tone of sarcasm mixed with underlying humour that brings Noah fully to life. His delivery of the family drama between Noah and his mother and between J.D. and Donna is filled with captivating drama and emotion.

This book has been often compared to “The Catcher in The Rye” and deserves all the positive praise it’s been given for its wonderful, unique storytelling and characters. If a book that is a myriad of family drama, humour, mystery, LGBT romance, and a coming-of-age story sounds enticing, then definitely make this your next read or listen!