For years, former fighter and Ivy League football player Mark Tullius ignored the warning signs. The headaches, memory lapses, and mood swings were just part of the game-until a brain scan changed everything.
This raw and revealing traumatic brain injury memoir blends personal storytelling, medical research, and mental-health insights. What began as a mission to help fellow fighters and athletes understand CTE and TBI became a deeply personal quest for recovery, resilience, and meaning.
Forced to confront the hidden damage from years of contact sports and combat, Mark refused to surrender. Instead, he turned his pain into a relentless pursuit of health, happiness, and brain-body healing through science, therapy, and self-discovery.
TBI or CTE What the Hell Is Wrong with Me? is a brutally honest and incredibly informative memoir and medical journey. The author, Mark Tullius, once an Ivy League football player and MMA fighter, shines the light on the often neglected cost of contact sports—concussions, brain trauma, and lasting mental health issues. He digs deep into his own Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and the terrifying diagnosis of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE). For a short book of only 173 pages (just over 4 hours on audio), readers will be amazed by how much eye-opening medical insight is interwoven with the author’s personal experiences and healing journey!
What’s most refreshing is how Tullius gives readers an unfiltered recount of his struggles and medical detective stories. After years of high‑impact sports, including Ivy League football, MMA fighting, and boxing that led to several concussions, Tullius was forced to face a brutal truth: his brain likely suffered irreparable damage. Determined for conclusive answers and a path to healing, he invested time (and money) getting educated about brain health and visited high-profile practitioners to expand his knowledge, do extensive testing, and undergo treatment. Throughout the book, he chronicles his physical and mental deterioration, addictive habits, marital problems, memory/attention loss, and emotional struggles in a very captivating way that draws in readers. As he shares his experiments with treatments and the outcomes, there’s so much valuable information that’s offered—so be prepared to annotate the book (or bookmark the audiobook) and jot down notes throughout the entire reading experience! There’s even a PDF document that accompanies the e-book/audiobook that Tullius refers to when mentioning his brain scans and the improvements he makes—definitely worth taking a look!
As this is still a memoir, readers get an in-depth look into Tullius himself. As an author, he documents his lifelong love of writing, especially of fiction, and details the inception of his popular “Try Not To Die” horror series and the collaborations he’s done with other authors—a few of whose own stories have inspired the storytelling—and readers will be eager to check out the titles mentioned afterwards!
As for Tullius the human being, he tells his story in a brutally honest way, opening up about his anger issues growing up, his college football years, and constantly pushing boundaries. But as the brain trauma takes its toll, he shares his struggles—emotional numbing, memory slips, mental fog, and fear—and all the honesty is refreshing! His relationship with himself changes profoundly as he accepts the possibility of irreversible damage and seeks multiple avenues of help—and his arc is heartbreaking (at times) and very powerful!
Even though this book is compact, there’s so much to unpack that readers may want to digest it in portions—and the book’s layout is perfectly suited for this. The beginning gives you a glimpse into Tullius’s life and backstory with concussions, while the midsection details his quest for medical answers and compelling experiences with friends having their own health journeys. The book is not only a testimony and a guide for those living with brain injury (or a declining brain) but also a resource for anyone needing inspiration on how to improve their physical and mental health—the later chapters explore exercise, diet changes, intermittent fasting, remedies for sleep issues, meditation, cold plunge therapy, and more as useful methods to improve overall well-being—and all are backed by high-profile books or studies that readers can further look into! The book’s ending is realistic and hopeful—the healing is imperfect, but he’s made great strides forward, which is very inspirational!
Overall, TBI or CTE: What the Hell Is Wrong with Me? is an emotional memoir that packs in incredibly useful health and wellness information. By the end readers will feel like they’ve read multiple books at once, learned so much, and will be inspired to improve their own health—and not many short books (especially memoirs) can offer all that! For anyone who’s experienced brain injury, has memory issues, or has declining cognitive abilities (or knows someone who does) or simply cares about their brain health as they age, this book is essential! It’s also a great read for athletes, coaches, parents involved in contact sports, or anyone else who enjoys true health journey stories and the path of attempting to heal—and it will linger afterwards, and readers will want to share the information learned with others!
Narrator Performance
The audiobook of TBI or CBE What the Hell Is Wrong With Me? is narrated by Derek Dysart, a seasoned narrator with a broad resume in nonfiction audiobooks.
Dysart’s uses a strong, calm, and resilient-sounding voice to authentically portray Mark, and it’s perfectly fitting for a memoir that details personal struggle and medical details. He reads the highly informative chapters articulately, making the explanations of brain function, treatment plans, test results, and long-term symptoms feel approachable and digestible. During some of the more emotional scenes, when Mark’s fear, memory loss, marital problems, and identity crisis are described, Dysart increases the expression and tension in his voice—just enough to convey Mark’s emotional distress and vulnerability, without ever sounding melodramatic. And this allows listeners to become more immersed in Mark’s story and healing efforts!
The pacing is one of the strongest suits of Dysart’s performance. Even though this is a short listen (at just over 4 hours), there’s an almost non-stop flow of useful medical and wellness information and book recommendations—and Dysart paces all of these sections deliberately (but still in an engaging manner) so that listeners can absorb the information without having to stop the audiobook constantly to write information down. The transitions between medical, reflective, and narrative sections are all narrated smoothly and are easy to follow, making for an overall enjoyable listening experience!
In summary, Dysart’s performance elevates this book with his balanced delivery of factual clarity and emotional resonance, making the audiobook come alive as a human story about brain injury and healing as opposed to just a medical-heavy memoir. This audiobook is perfect for listeners who are interested in a thoughtful exploration of TBI/CTE struggles and healing (especially former athletes), anyone interested in brain health, or anyone who enjoys memoirs about struggle and recovery!
Narrator Performance
The audiobook of TBI or CBE What the Hell Is Wrong With Me? is narrated by Derek Dysart, a seasoned narrator with a broad resume in nonfiction audiobooks.
Dysart’s uses a strong, calm, and resilient-sounding voice to authentically portray Mark, and it’s perfectly fitting for a memoir that details personal struggle and medical details. He reads the highly informative chapters articulately, making the explanations of brain function, treatment plans, test results, and long-term symptoms feel approachable and digestible. During some of the more emotional scenes, when Mark’s fear, memory loss, marital problems, and identity crisis are described, Dysart increases the expression and tension in his voice—just enough to convey Mark’s emotional distress and vulnerability, without ever sounding melodramatic. And this allows listeners to become more immersed in Mark’s story and healing efforts!
The pacing is one of the strongest suits of Dysart’s performance. Even though this is a short listen (at just over 4 hours), there’s an almost non-stop flow of useful medical and wellness information and book recommendations—and Dysart paces all of these sections deliberately (but still in an engaging manner) so that listeners can absorb the information without having to stop the audiobook constantly to write information down. The transitions between medical, reflective, and narrative sections are all narrated smoothly and are easy to follow, making for an overall enjoyable listening experience!
In summary, Dysart’s performance elevates this book with his balanced delivery of factual clarity and emotional resonance, making the audiobook come alive as a human story about brain injury and healing as opposed to just a medical-heavy memoir. This audiobook is perfect for listeners who are interested in a thoughtful exploration of TBI/CTE struggles and healing (especially former athletes), anyone interested in brain health, or anyone who enjoys memoirs about struggle and recovery!
The audiobook of TBI or CBE What the Hell Is Wrong With Me? is narrated by Derek Dysart, a seasoned narrator with a broad resume in nonfiction audiobooks.
Dysart’s uses a strong, calm, and resilient-sounding voice to authentically portray Mark, and it’s perfectly fitting for a memoir that details personal struggle and medical details. He reads the highly informative chapters articulately, making the explanations of brain function, treatment plans, test results, and long-term symptoms feel approachable and digestible. During some of the more emotional scenes, when Mark’s fear, memory loss, marital problems, and identity crisis are described, Dysart increases the expression and tension in his voice—just enough to convey Mark’s emotional distress and vulnerability, without ever sounding melodramatic. And this allows listeners to become more immersed in Mark’s story and healing efforts!
The pacing is one of the strongest suits of Dysart’s performance. Even though this is a short listen (at just over 4 hours), there’s an almost non-stop flow of useful medical and wellness information and book recommendations—and Dysart paces all of these sections deliberately (but still in an engaging manner) so that listeners can absorb the information without having to stop the audiobook constantly to write information down. The transitions between medical, reflective, and narrative sections are all narrated smoothly and are easy to follow, making for an overall enjoyable listening experience!
In summary, Dysart’s performance elevates this book with his balanced delivery of factual clarity and emotional resonance, making the audiobook come alive as a human story about brain injury and healing as opposed to just a medical-heavy memoir. This audiobook is perfect for listeners who are interested in a thoughtful exploration of TBI/CTE struggles and healing (especially former athletes), anyone interested in brain health, or anyone who enjoys memoirs about struggle and recovery!
